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I always ask my guests the same closing question: Who is a leader you admire, and why?
Over time, you start to notice a pattern in the answers. Rarely does anyone cite a leader who gave a breathtaking speech, executed a flawless strategy, or possessed superhuman charisma. Instead, the answers almost always gravitate towards the practical, grounded moments of human interaction. They talk about the manager who created space for them to fail safely. They remember the executive who listened when a project derailed.
When we strip away the corporate jargon and the performative aspects of leadership, we are left with a simple truth: the leaders who leave a lasting mark are those who understand context and have the discipline to listen.
This tension - between the loud, decisive leadership we often see celebrated and the quiet, contextual leadership that actually drives change - is one of the most critical challenges for any modern leader. In a world moving at breakneck speed, there is immense pressure to have immediate answers. But as the conversations on the podcast reveal, rushing to a conclusion is often the quickest path to failure.
The Discipline of Context
Consider the story Rui Bashir shared about Nelson Mandela. Rui pointed not to Mandela’s presidency, but to his years on Robben Island. During his imprisonment, Mandela began learning Afrikaans, the language of his captors and political opponents. Those around him thought it was a waste of time. But Mandela understood something profound about influence and negotiation: if you want to change people, you cannot do it from outside their worldview.
He read their literature, learned their words, and studied what they valued and what they feared losing. By the time he sat across from the apartheid government, he understood their cultural inheritance better than they did.
As Rui put it, Mandela taught him that “the most expensive thing a leader can refuse to do is study the room they want to change.”
This is a powerful lesson in strategic patience. How often do we, as leaders, try to force a change initiative, a new strategy, or a cultural shift without first understanding the underlying language and values of the people we are trying to move? We rely on positional authority or generic corporate communication rather than taking the time to earn the right to be heard.
Listening as a Performance Driver
This principle of understanding context is deeply tied to the discipline of listening. Nikki Goldman highlighted the work of Hubert Joly during his turnaround of Best Buy. When a company is struggling, the standard playbook dictates immediate cuts - to staff, to budgets, to ambition.
Joly took a different approach. He embarked on a major listening tour, asking employees one simple question: “What is standing in the way of your performance?”
He did not mandate a vision from the top down. He diagnosed the reality from the bottom up. His thesis was that if you support the employees, they will deliver better customer service, which will drive performance. This employee-first mindset, rooted in active listening, successfully turned the business around.
In my book Enhanced Leadership, I explore this idea that leadership is not about having all the answers, but about creating the environment where the best answers can emerge. Joly’s approach is a textbook example. Listening is not a soft skill; it is a diagnostic tool. It is how you uncover the operational friction that spreadsheets and executive dashboards will never show you.
The Power of Considered Leadership
We live in an era that rewards extreme opinions. As Ian Stringer noted when discussing Gareth Southgate, social media and the 24-hour news cycle demand that everything be either the greatest triumph or an unmitigated disaster.
But effective leadership rarely operates at the extremes. It requires what Ian called “considered leadership.” It is the ability to stay calm, measured, and fair under pressure. It is the willingness to say to a team member, “I understand why you want to do things differently. We are moving in this direction, but I have heard you, and we will check in to see how it is working.”
This kind of leadership does not create viral moments, but it builds trust. It demonstrates that you value the individual’s perspective, even when the final decision goes another way.
Implications for Leaders
If you are leading a team through change, ambiguity, or high-pressure situations, the challenge is to resist the urge to simply ‘tell’ and instead commit to the harder work of understanding.
Audit your listening: Are you listening to understand, or are you just waiting for your turn to speak? The next time a team member raises an issue, pause. Ask a follow-up question before offering a solution.
Study the room: Before launching your next initiative, ask yourself: Do I understand the language, values, and fears of the people who will have to execute this? If not, you need to do your research. You cannot drive change from the outside.
Embrace considered responses: When tensions run high, slow down. You do not always need an immediate, definitive answer. Creating space between stimulus and response - as Viktor Frankl taught - is a hallmark of mature leadership.
Notes for Coaches
For those coaching leaders, these themes offer fertile ground for exploration.
Look for the ‘rush to fix’: When a client is frustrated by a lack of buy-in from their team, explore how much time they have spent understanding the team’s context. Are they trying to force the river, as Mercedes Martin noted in her story about Ajay Banga?
Challenge their assumptions: Help your clients see the difference between compliance and commitment. Ask them: “How do you know what your team actually thinks about this strategy?” If their answer relies purely on hierarchy, there is work to do.
Encourage diagnostic listening: Coach leaders to ask better questions. Help them move away from “Why isn’t this working?” to Joly’s approach: “What is standing in the way of your performance?”
The Leaders We Become
The leaders we admire are rarely the ones who never made a mistake or who always had the perfect strategy. They are the ones who treated us with respect, who sought to understand our perspective, and who gave us the autonomy to do our best work.
As Gabriel Millien shared about his first boss, “Hierarchy should never silence insight.”
If we want to be the kind of leaders that people remember - the kind that build resilient, high-performing teams - we need to spend less time trying to be the smartest person in the room and more time making sure we actually understand the room we are in.
Who is a leader that shaped you, and what practical thing did they do that you still carry with you today? I would love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment or send me a message.
Until next time, keep leading, keep learning, and keep levelling up!
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