From Surviving to Thriving
Unlocking Your Agency with Jon Rosemberg
I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with leadership coach and author Jon Rosemberg for an episode of the Level Up Leadership podcast, and I’m still buzzing from the conversation. It was one of those interviews that doesn’t just give you information but provides a tangible framework you can start using immediately. We explored some profound concepts about what it means to lead in today’s complex world, moving beyond traditional definitions to something more personal and powerful.
At the heart of our discussion was a fundamental reframing of leadership itself. Jon suggested that we see leadership less as a structural role bestowed upon us and more as a way of navigating the world. Central to this new perspective is the concept of agency, which he defines as “the capacity to make intentional choices supported by the belief that those choices actually matter and have an impact on the world.”
This idea resonated with me. So often, we find ourselves reacting to events, caught in a cycle of what Jon calls ‘survival mode’ - just trying to get through the day, putting out fires, and focusing only on the next immediate task. Thriving, by contrast, is a state where we feel we’re making a difference, adding our unique value, and having a positive impact. The bridge between these two states, Jon argues, is agency. By consciously exercising our agency, we can shift from a reactive state of surviving to a proactive state of thriving.
To help make this shift, Jon introduced a deceptively simple yet powerful framework from his upcoming book, A Guide to Thriving. He calls it AIR, which stands for Awareness, Inquiry, and Reframe.
It’s a three-step process for taking a breath and reclaiming control when you feel triggered or overwhelmed.
Awareness: The first step is simply to notice what’s happening internally. When you receive that urgent, ambiguous email from your boss, what are your immediate thoughts? (”I’m going to get fired.”) What are the emotions? (Fear, anxiety.) What are the physical sensations? (A tight jaw, tense shoulders, a compressed chest.) This is about observing your internal response without judgment.
Inquiry: Once you have that awareness, you can move from being the subject of the experience to an objective observer. This is the inquiry stage, where you get curious. Ask yourself open-ended questions: What’s the evidence for my fears? Is there anything to suggest I’m actually going to be fired? What else could this meeting be about? This process opens the door to other possibilities beyond the initial catastrophic narrative.
Reframe: After inquiring, you can actively change the story. This isn’t about baseless positivity; it’s about focusing on what you can control. You can reframe the situation from “I’m about to lose my job” to “My boss wants to meet. I’ll find a time that works and figure out how to deal with whatever comes up.” This step is about seeing options where you previously saw none.
This framework is more than a coping mechanism; it’s a tool for building the mental muscle of agency.
For Leaders: Turning Uncertainty into Possibility
For anyone in a leadership position, the AIR framework is an invaluable tool for self-regulation and resilience. We live in an age of constant change and uncertainty, with challenges like the integration of AI and the complexities of hybrid work. These pressures can easily push us into survival mode, where our ability to think strategically and lead with empathy is compromised.
By practising AIR, leaders can learn to manage their own reactive tendencies.
Build Self-Awareness: A leader who understands their own triggers is less likely to project their anxiety onto their team. They can remain a calm, steady presence, even when under pressure.
Model Curiosity: When you move into the inquiry phase, you model a powerful behaviour for your team. Instead of reacting with fear, you approach challenges with curiosity, asking “What can we learn here?” and “What are our options?” This transforms uncertainty from a threat into an opportunity for growth and innovation.
Cultivate Agency in Others: A leader who has a strong sense of their own agency is better equipped to foster it in their team. They can create an environment of psychological safety where team members feel empowered to make intentional choices, knowing their contributions matter. This is crucial for navigating the shift away from performative work (’theatre of work’) towards delivering genuine value.
Ultimately, using a tool like AIR allows you to find what Jon calls the balance between authenticity and belonging - creating a culture where people can show up as their true selves while aligning with the broader vision of the organisation.
For Coaches: A Framework to Empower Clients
As a coach, I immediately saw the potential of the AIR framework as a practical tool to use with clients. It provides a clear, structured way to help people move from feeling stuck to feeling empowered.
Here’s how it can be applied in a coaching context:
Facilitating Awareness: Many clients come to coaching with a problem but lack a clear awareness of their internal response to it. As a coach, you can guide them to notice their thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. Questions like, “What’s happening for you right now as you describe this?” can be the starting point.
Deepening through Inquiry: The inquiry stage is the heart of coaching. Using powerful, open-ended questions, you can help a client explore their situation from multiple angles, challenge their assumptions, and uncover the narratives they’ve constructed. This helps them see their problem as something separate from themselves - something they can analyse and influence.
Supporting the Reframe: Once a client has explored the issue, the final step is to help them reframe it and identify actionable steps. This is where you support them in shifting their perspective and focusing on their locus of control. The goal is not just to solve the immediate problem but to help them build the skill of agency, so they are better equipped to handle future challenges on their own.
By guiding a client through the AIR process, you’re not giving them the answers. You’re giving them a repeatable method for finding their own.
This is just a small sample of the wisdom Jon shared during our conversation. We also delved into the growing importance of relational value over productive value and how leaders can navigate the future of work.
I encourage you to listen to the full episode to get the complete picture. You can also learn more about Jon’s work by visiting his websites, guidetothriving.com (for his upcoming book) and antherglobal.com.
And as always, for more insights on modern leadership and coaching, make sure you’re subscribed to the Level Up Leadership podcast and newsletter.
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