Embracing Authentic Confidence as a Leader
Coaching confidence for Leaders
Stepping into a new leadership role, especially one that shifts your focus from the day-to-day operations to broader strategic oversight, often comes with a subtle, yet persistent, companion: self-doubt. It’s that quiet voice asking, “Am I truly ready for this?” or “Do I genuinely belong here?” This common experience is frequently boxed under the label of ‘imposter syndrome’. While the feeling is undoubtedly real and widespread, I often find myself pushing back on the term itself.
To me, ‘imposter syndrome’ sounds a bit clinical, implying a condition that needs treatment. I prefer to reframe it. What if, instead, we saw this uncertainty as a perfectly natural, even healthy, response to growth? When you’re pushing boundaries, taking on more complex responsibilities, and navigating uncharted professional waters, a degree of trepidation is entirely understandable. In fact, if you felt no apprehension at all when leveling up, I’d suggest you might not be challenging yourself enough! This feeling can actually be a positive signal – an indicator that you are indeed stretching, learning, and developing your capabilities.
My Own Path Through Doubt
My leadership journey has certainly had its share of these moments. Early in my career, I remember taking on a leadership role for a sales team. Having been a successful salesperson myself, I, perhaps unwisely, led with a confidence that bordered on arrogance. I felt I had to have all the answers, to prove my worth through sheer force of will and a deep knowledge of the product. This approach, however, proved counterproductive. Instead of truly empowering my team, I often found myself dipping back into their operational work, doing what I knew best – selling. While I might have appeared outwardly assured, internally, this was a deeply vulnerable period. I wasn’t leading; I was compensating, and that subtle shift eroded the very foundation of effective leadership.
Another vivid lesson came from my first major training delivery. I had been mentored by an incredibly charismatic and experienced trainer, and in my eagerness, I tried to replicate his exact style. I rushed through two days of material in half a day, attempting to infuse it with all his anecdotal flair. The result was a dramatic flop. I completely ran out of steam and had to hand over to my mentor during the lunch break. What was fascinating was the feedback from the trainees: they had no idea I was nervous or that the session was going awry from my perspective. They thought I was incredibly confident! This eye-opening experience highlighted the significant gap between internal feelings and external perceptions.
A true turning point arrived when I stepped into a leadership position within an entirely new industry for me – engineering and machine maintenance. Specifically, I was responsible for parts and distribution. Here, the situation was different. Everyone, including myself, knew I had no prior experience in this sector. This complete lack of pretence was incredibly freeing. I couldn’t fall back on knowing all the operational details, so my focus had to be squarely on leadership. I leant into strategy, into organising, into supporting my team, and into enabling them to excel. This willingness to be openly vulnerable about my lack of industry-specific knowledge paradoxically built immense trust and actually fostered my confidence. It was here that I truly began to understand that leadership isn’t about having all the answers, but about empowering others and leveraging collective expertise. As a guiding principle, I’ve always believed that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Cultivating Authentic Confidence: Your Coaching Toolkit
So, how can you move beyond the feeling of being an ‘imposter’ and cultivate deep, authentic confidence? Here are some actionable coaching strategies:
Reframe Uncertainty as Opportunity: Instead of seeing self-doubt as a failing, view it as a signal for growth. It means you’re stretching yourself, learning, and developing. Embrace being outside your comfort zone – that’s precisely where true development occurs.
Practice Vulnerable Leadership: Authentic leadership often involves a willingness to be transparent and, at times, admit what you don’t know. This isn’t about weakness; it’s about building trust, fostering psychological safety, and inviting others to contribute their expertise. It demonstrates that you value your team’s knowledge and are open to continuous learning.
Shift from Doing to Leading: As you progress, your role naturally evolves. Your primary value shifts from executing tasks to providing strategic direction, empowering your team, and removing obstacles. Consciously disengage from the urge to consistently do your team’s work; your true impact lies in enabling their success.
Actively Seek and Absorb Feedback: Our internal self-perception can often be harsher than reality. Proactively seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, and direct reports. Their external perspective can provide a more balanced and often more positive view of your contributions and impact.
Embrace a Growth Mindset: Understand that confidence and competence are built incrementally. You don’t need to know everything from day one. Foster a commitment to continuous learning, adapting, and improving. This aligns with a drive for excellence, rather than the debilitating pursuit of perfection.
Projecting Calm and Resilience in High-Profile Roles
As leaders ascend to more prominent roles, there’s also an increasing expectation to project a sense of calm assurance and resilience, especially under pressure. My own composed demeanour in high-stakes or upsetting situations has sometimes been misinterpreted as a lack of care. For me, however, maintaining a steady presence is about focusing on finding solutions and guiding others, rather than displaying outward emotional reactions.
Here are some tips for cultivating that crucial leadership presence:
Diligent Preparation, Followed by Release: Thorough preparation for significant meetings, presentations, or decisions will naturally bolster your confidence. But once you’re in the moment, release the need for absolute perfection. Strive for high quality and courageous progress, even if every detail isn’t flawless.
Cultivate Presence in the Moment: When faced with pressure, resist the urge for your mind to race ahead. Focus on the immediate situation, take a conscious breath, and listen actively. Being present allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
Communicate with Purposeful Clarity: In times of uncertainty, clarity from leadership is paramount. Be direct, transparent (even with difficult news), and keep your communication focused on solutions and direction. This provides a crucial anchor for your team.
Master the Art of Strategic Prioritisation: Overwhelm is a swift destroyer of confidence. Learn to set clear boundaries, delegate effectively, and have the courage to say ‘no’ to non-essential demands. My approach strongly advocates for focused effort on ‘The Essential’, concentrating energy where it will yield the greatest impact.
Prioritise Your Well-being: Often overlooked, personal well-being is fundamental to resilience. Ensure you’re getting adequate rest, physical activity, and time for decompression. A well-rested and balanced mind is far more equipped to handle pressure and project confidence.
Ultimately, true leadership confidence isn’t about the absence of doubt or the constant projection of invincibility. It’s about the courage to be vulnerable, the commitment to continuous learning, and the dedication to lead with authenticity, empowering your people and building unbreakable trust – even as you step into the glorious unknown.
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